it's been a while...

It's been a while, very long while.. Last time I wrote something here it was February 2011. I was still living in the place where I can comfortably call home, Ireland. So much has changed since 2011. I can pretty much say that I'm a different person.
Let's say that in the past couple of years my life has been in a emotional rollercoaster, so many ups and downs that I think I cannot differ what is the center point, where we draw the line between happines and sadness. I've lost the woman I thought I'd have a future with, I still haven't succeded in my carrer, I think that only thing I can say that I'm proud with is my actual house or apartment which frankly I thought it would be a disaster living with another friend but it turned out to be the best thing I have actually done recently.
I know think I'm going through a tough time in my emotional rollercoaster again... I think I'm about to hit the bottom once again but this time I at least know it will go back to normal once I figure out what is actually causing all of this.
I am blessed to have friends like I have. Guys that I can really count on with whatever I need and that's amazing and more people I met I see that it's becoming more and more rare, real truly friends.
All the nice people I met in the past year also just added in my life, lots of lessons that they don't even know they are teaching me.. oh man, how lucky I am to have friends like them.
Sometimes the loneliness hit hard and the signs of depression also hit very hard but it's a constant fight that all normal people are constantly fighting.
I think the stagnation in my life is what is causing me to be feeling like I am now.
Then I think of one word, with so many different uses: HOPE. Hope for me, to actually achieve what I'm aiming  for my life, hope in the people, it's kinda controversial to actually say that because it could be interpreted in two completely different ways but I guess I'm trying to say is the hope people to become better because it may not look like but this is what I'm trying to do. Hope that me and people around me will succed. I think its worth nothing to become a sucessful person if the people you care and love are not there with you.
I think by now I can only hope.

I will be using this as my journal, I honestly don't expect people to read it but the idea is to get off my chest and put into words. If you accidentaly found this online, you either ignore it or don't pay too much attention to it.